Fear of breaking up?
Why do we stay in relationships that are not good for us?
Have you ever been in a relationship that does not feel good for you? Have you ever felt trapped because you have holiday plans with your partner and you never get around having the conversation?
Do you find yourself dreading causing pain to someone who is close to you?
If so, these are all normal thoughts and feelings when we find ourselves in relationships that are not congruent with who we are. We are afraid of causing pain to people close to us because even though they might not be right for us, we still care. However, we may also be afraid of their anger that might be unleashed upon us when they hear the news.
Could this fear stem from your past relationship with your parents? Had you found yourself worried about damaging or disappointing your parents?
If so, your mental template may have developed in a way that is easier to conform with what others need. Our minds are full of fears that stem from our past long ago but continue to have power over our adult lives now.
Counselling can help take stock and become aware of these long-stemming fears and patterns and help us recognise the impact they are having in our lives.
Counselling can help us recognise that we are now adults and we can have confidence in our robustness that we can survive and withstand adversities.
When it comes to relationships with others, by understanding ourselves, we can show real kindness to others too. Sometimes that can mean to decide to leave a relationship that is unfair to both of you.
I'd love to support you in exploring yourself and your relationship patterns. Get in touch if you feel you would like some help.
Image from @naturallife